Aether’s Apartment
Atlanta, GA
United States of America
April 2016
“Thanks for taking the three of us home again, Aether.” Tadashi smiled. Aether smiled despite herself; driving home two drunken men and one buzzed one drove the energy out of her, but it wasn’t all too bad. Especially with Mack and Peters bickering in the back about whether this band or that band was greater than the other.
It was Squad A’s usual monthly drinking night. For April, Aether had lost the ‘competition’ and was designated to be the one to pay for their drinks, bring them to the bar, and bring them all home. Tadashi was the last to be dropped off, as he and Aether lived in the same apartment. “You sure you don’t want us to walk back together?”
“I’ll be fine,” she waved him off, “I can park and walk back myself. You need to get some rest before you end up falling asleep. I know how you get when you’re drunk, T.” Tadashi’s cheeks turned a light red and he managed a small laugh, nodding. “Get some sleep, alright?”
“Got it. Night, A.” Aether wished him goodnight and Tadashi stepped out of the car, proceeding to slowly walk towards the apartment. Aether’s smile slipped away, she sighing and driving to the parking lot of the apartment to park in her usual spot.
As soon as the engine was off and the car was properly parked in the right spot, Aether got out with her bag and started walking back.
Aether and Tadashi’s apartment was a nice one; it looked like a decent building from the outside with the exterior walls a warm color. There was a space allotted to the side (away from the parking) where there were a few benches where people who lived in the apartment could stay and relax; sort of like a community backyard for them.
She and Tadashi would sometimes stay there and talk if the apartment ever felt like too much; at other times, the rest of the Squad would go there for their own personal bonding time. The thought made her smile.
And so popped a small memory in her head of her and—
Aether shook her head, cursed herself quietly, and kept walking.
It’s been four months going on five, Aether. When are you planning to move on? She couldn’t help the thought and exhaled, when do you plan to get the pictures hidden somewhere and delete him off your phone? He’s not coming back. Peters is right — even Mack is right. You should move on already. It’s not like he’s going to magically come back, apologize, and make it all okay.
A curious voice this time. But what if he does come back and apologize? What am I going to do about him now? Do I want him back? Do I need him back—
I don’t. I do. I don’t. I do—
Fuck.
Aether gritted her teeth and stopped. The benches were just there; waiting. She bit her lip and glanced towards the relaxing area; it wasn’t like it was totally terrifying. There were a number of lampposts to make sure the whole area was illuminated.
So she decided to walk towards one of the benches and sat, bag next to her. Running her fingers through her hair and exhaling through her nose slowly. Four months going five. Four months going five without one of her favorite people.
And Aether realised that she never really did make progress in moving on.
His number was still in her phone. Pictures still in the bedroom. She never used the other side of the bed. A number of his clothes were still in the closet. The cigarettes were hidden in the small bedside table. The small remaining reminders were there, haunting her quietly as the days passed.
She wondered if she could call the others that weekend and ask them to help her hide the items, perhaps in a large box they could get from the nearby mart. Put all his belongings there, close it with tape, and leave it somewhere. Maybe in her cleaning supplies closet. Maybe deep within her own closet.
Peters would suggest they burn it. Aether knew she would refuse.
She sighed.
And knowing T, she thought next, he’s waiting in his living room for me to walk inside my own apartment. He won’t get to sleep unless I get home.
So she stood up and started walking out, bag in her hand which lay limply by her side. The night was dark and the air was cooler, but not as cold as it was the past few months. Cold months which were probably just as cold as the other side of the bed.
(On most nights, she admitted silently to herself that the other side of the bed was colder. Unfortunately.)
The past months, she had gotten used to coming home alone. She would come to the front door alone, walk to her apartment room alone, get inside alone, do the rest of things alone, sleep alone and wake up alone. Loneliness crept around and seeped through the pores of the room; due to that, she preferred to stay in HQ. Despite her interest in being within the comforts of her own mind, even she had to admit that being in a place as bustling and people-filled as HQ was comforting.
Home was a contrast.
Which was probably why she didn’t expect someone to be sitting by the entrance of her apartment.
“Excuse me?”
A hooded figure. Sitting limply, a duffel bag to his side. Maroon hoodie raised to cover his head. Aether approached slowly, hesitantly, unsure of what to make of this figure. A quick top-to-bottom glance told her that the person was a male, quite young, and was conscious. There wasn’t any deep breathing or low snoring.
The man was awake.
She considered calling Tadashi and asking for help, but she swallowed the prickling nervousness away.
Did he hear me? “Sir?”
He stiffened visibly and Aether flinched, taking one, two steps back. He’s awake. He’s conscious. He can kill me right now and I don’t have my fucking gun.
Instead of attacking (as she had thought), the man raised his hands to his face and covered, releasing a quick breath and muttering something quickly.
Possibilities. Criminal? Drug addict? Lost tourist?
Is it—
“Je suis vraiment désolé, Aether…” Hands moved to grip his hair tightly and he choked out the five words again and again that Aether could barely believe what she was hearing from this alleged stranger in front of her apartment.
“You…”
“Je suis vraiment désolé,” the man whispered. Unable to look at her while she focused all her attention on him, eyes wide and hands trembling and feeling like her bag was about to from her grip. “I’m sorry, Aether, I’m so, so sorry.”
They spoke at the same time.
“It can’t be you—”
“It’s me—”
She stepped back. He stood up, leaving the bag to the side. Hers falls to the ground (and vibrates, it must be her phone) but she ignored it as she took a step back, then another, and then another. He walked toward her; she stepped back.
And then she stops. He stops. Aether couldn’t see his face from the hood; but the lighting from the lamppost gave away some stubble on the man’s chin.
“Aether,” the man whispered. She flinched again. “Chérie.”
He took another step towards her, and she saw that the light shone on him a bit more the more he came. “I know I left you and that I didn’t explain anything at all…” her arms automatically crossed in front of her as if guarding herself from him and the male stopped. He swallowed. “Aether. Please believe that it’s me.”
It seems like him sounds like him
“You can remove my hood,” he attempted. “Just so you can see. It’s me. It really is me, Aether. Please believe me.”
So she took a step forward and another and another until she was a few steps in front of him. She was about to lift her arms but he instead bowed a little so that she could have an easier time. She bit her lip harshly, fingers shakily touching the fabric. Aether almost didn’t want to tug it back, thinking that perhaps it wasn’t him after all and that she would just be disappointed—
“Please, Aether.”
So she yanked it away from his head. Instead of a heedful of ginger hair, it was a dark brown. She blinked.
“I had to change it,” the man explained quietly. Her hands fell to her sides limply and he took them, thumb gently running over her skin. She resisted the urge to shiver; the action felt too familiar. “Jin-ho and I had to leave. We had to go. If they caught us, we would have gotten killed. You would have gotten killed. I didn’t want that for you.”
Truth after truth. Her mouth dried. “Jin-ho?”
“He’s okay. He brought me here, actually.” an exhale, and the man finally raised his head to look her in the eye. “Aether,” he repeated her name, “I missed you so much.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks and she jerked her hands away from his gentle grip. Mathieu Sylvester looked pained at the action, but his expression changed as she launched into his arms, wrapping her own arms around him and starting to sob into his chest. His blue eyes widened and he was frozen for a split second until relaxing and embracing her just as tightly, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I’m here,” he whispered, voice cracking. “I’m here now.”
The twosome stayed like that for minutes, Aether sobbing and clinging tightly with Mathieu holding her to him, perfectly still with his head buried in her hair and restraining from crying at that moment. Eventually she pulls away and looks at him; lifts her hands and touches his face. He waits and watches, Aether running her fingers over his cheeks and his jaw and anything she can touch.
She manages to speak. “Inside, Mathieu. Let’s…”
He understands, takes her hand, and pulls her towards the entrance to the building. Their bags are hastily picked up. They go inside, a sense of hurry in the air.
Aether fumbles for her keys. Enters the apartment. He follows.
The door locks.
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