Freely Restrained: A Shoujo Parallels Headcanon Short

Alpha Belt
Mortal Realm
March 2015
Venura Residence

~Gabriel, Miles~

“How do you feel, Aria?”

“Strangely liberated,” she replies. I can’t help but blink in surprise at her answer. “You know – form PTs, tests, quizzes…all that academic stuf,” she defends. “It’s weird. I feel liberated, but…at the same time, I also feel caged.” She steps into her room and I close the door from behind, watching as she unties her hair. “I’m free from the pressures of academics – school and all that – but…now that I’m done, I feel like I’m just being restrained,” she admits.

My forest-green eyes narrow slightly. “How so?”

“I mean, I’m just seventeen days away from graduating, Miles.” Her eyes glance at the screen of her phone. “Seventeen days. I’m just two weeks and three days away from getting my meaningful diploma. Yet, I’m being kept inside just waiting until I’m out of those gates once and for all.”

Aria exhales eventually and moves into the bathroom, mumbling that she’d just change into more comfortable wear. As the door clicks, I sit on her bed and process what she just told me – her own feelings about being freely restrained.

Did it make sense?

Strangely enough, it did. She felt relieved and frustrated, undeniably gleeful to be free of those terror subjects (Calculus) and of any academic endeavor. In truth, all she had to do for the rest of the month was to keep being the Aria she regularly was with the rest of them.

With the rest of the XDees.

Being the same old, Aria, however, felt like being trapped.

Aria couldn’t explain it properly the first time I asked about it. Not at all. She just made articulate hand gestures and frutrated noises, finally admitting that she couldn’t get around it herself.

She couldn’t understand why exactly her actions felt…forced.

She wasn’t forced with the rest of them, not exactly. It wasn’t hard for her to turn on her joyful vibe and radiate that odd kind of positive energy she had.

But the fact remained that what she did – what she said – felt like she was merely being forced to say such things and to do such things all for keeping others – the XDees – happy. It seemed like she was wearing a serving and satisfying mask when behind it, she just wanted to act for herself.

It all came down to her own personal happiness and the others’ personal happiness.

So there she was again: putting others first.

Aria eventually came out in a blue shirt and shorts, towel around her shoulders with her hair messed up and damp. She reached for her phone and squinted at the time, her ‘numb’ composure starting to crack. I blinked and glanced as well.

It was just the time – 12:52PM.

“Are you alright—”

“I’m fine,” she told me curtly. She tucked the phone into the pocket of her shorts and moved to her study table, switching on her laptop. “Just…tired, you know?”

“From exams. Right.”

She gave him a look and shook her head slowly, turning back to her laptop. I grabbed a nearby chair and moved it next to her, sitting on it and watching as she briefly browsed a number of websites. “You’ve been on edge,” I finally said. She didn’t look at him. “A little more…unsure. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Can’t I be on edge because of exams?” she asked. Her fingers gave a twitched and I looked at the keyboard; her pointer fingers had started to slowly pick at her thumbs. “They’re my last exams as a high school student ever. I hope I was able to pass with flying colors…even if they were easier than expected,” she admitted.

“Tests take a toll on you?”

“Not as much as I expected.” She smiled a little at that and stretched, myself watching as she soon tied her hair up. “Why’d you ask?”

“You mean, how did I notice?”

“Same thing.”

I merely shrugged. “My duty as your Watcher is to watch over you and make sure you’re safe and sound in all aspects. Physically, mentally and emotionally.”

She nodded slowly and looked back at the screen of her laptop. “I just need some well-needed sleep and I’ll be fine,” I heard her murmur.

But it seemed more like a reassurance for herself than a reply. Aria stayed quiet after that and I merely hung around her room, reading books and trying to fix them by color.

Her thoughts swirled around her head, building up like how a storm would begin itself. The filter which kept the good from the bad and the worried to the calm had broken down long ago. Within minutes, I witnessed her get up, close her laptop and move to the bed, eventually curling up on the soft mattress.

That was my cue to check if something was wrong.

“I’m just tired, Miles,” she mumbled thickly. “You can go on ahead if you want.”

“And leave you like this?” I tried to joke, sitting at the very edge of her bed. “Last time I checked, you were Lightning. Not a waiting Storm.” This made her bury her face into a neaby pillow and I frowned, reaching out to rub her back. “…is this really post-exam exhaustion, or is it something else?”

“Check back in an hour.” Aria’s voice was dull and lacking her usual vitality. “If I’m still asleep, it’s exhaustion. If I’m listening to Arctic Monkeys, then something’s up.” The corner of her mouth lifted slightly at the last part and I nodded slowly, rising from the bed.

“Are you sure it’s nothing?”

She faced away from me and closed her eyes.

“We’ll see, Gab. We’ll…see.”

And I waited.

Aria slept. She slept throughout the next two hours, merely shifting on her bed to move into a more comfortable position while I stayed in the room with her, reading something on her ‘to read’ pile. I had barely reached half of the book when she sat up, rubbing her eyes slowly. I glanced at the time.

“Almost dinner,” I told her.

“That can wait,” she replied, reaching for her phone. I watched as her sleepy, emmotionally disconnected expression shifted wildly – from apathetic and nearly numb to mildly pained, maybe disappointed. Aria put her phone away and sighed, curling back down on the mattress.

“…are you alright?” I asked her carefully, putting the book back on the table. She merely shrugged and faced the wall, and I immediately went ‘Watcher Mode’ on her – inhaling deeply and peeking into her thoughts.

Am I not –

What did I –

S t o p  o v e r t h i n k i n g

“The more you overthink, the worse it gets,” I spoke. Aria’s form stiffened.

You promised you’d stop reading.

“I only peek inside during dire situations,” I defended, soon sighing and moving to her bed. Aria still faced the wall and I put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it gently. “I double as a counselor-slash-listener, remember? What’s wrong?”

It’s petty.

“It’s not petty if it’s bothering you this much.”

“…whatever,” she mumbled. She didn’t move, but she sighed. “I’ll tell you when I’m okay with telling you. Which is probably in five, ten minutes. I just need to get all my shit together.”

I nod, still watching and rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. “I’ll just be here.”

She says nothing, but a single thought resurfaces in her mind.

Thank you.