Deep Breath: A TGSC Short

Yamada Warehouse
Tokyo, Japan
October 2012

That was the thing: no one knew.

No one knew why A had stilled completely in front of the burning building or why her eyes widened and her form went slack. No one knew why the agent who was capable of shooting a man and interrogating a criminal had suddenly lost all nerve at the sight of flame licking a building to ash. No one knew why she just stared at the sight, fists trembling as she balled them tightly.

When Peters slowly put a hand on her shoulder, it was like he had broken a trance. “Earth to A – what’s going on with you?”

“I – shit, it’s nothing. We need to check the building,” she answered hastily. A blinked and straightened her form, “Has someone called the fire department?”

“They’re on their way,” one of the nearby agents replied. She nodded and made a signal with her fingers to move forward, but even from afar Touta could see the tenseness return to her form and how she swallowed nervously.

“Let’s go.”

Someone had set the building on fire to cover their tracks – based on reports; the person or group had allegedly stored something (illegal) inside. What they had to do was attempt to collect the materials and at the same, apprehend the people involved.

“What do you think it is?” Peters asked. He had his gun out and was cautiously looking around him. Beside the American, Touta kept his eyes on A, who was looking as well yet keeping her distance from the flame even though they were many feet away from it. “T?”

“Probably drugs,” he murmured. “You know how these people go. Store something in here, find out someone’s onto them and then burn the whole place down to avoid suspicion. Which makes it stupid because that just gets them even more attention than they initially wanted.”

“Right.” Peters lowered his voice, “Did you notice how off A was when we got here? I think she looked sick.”

“Couldn’t have been the smoke, right? She doesn’t have asthma.” Peters shrugged and Touta kept his eyes on her, noticing the slightest flinch she would give if the flames would lick a little more towards them. “Did something happen?”

“Wouldn’t know. You know how she keeps most of her life from us,” the taller man sighed. “We need to pry it out of her. Wouldn’t you?”

He couldn’t shake the thought off his mind. Of course people would be more hesitant towards fire, maybe out of fear of getting burned. But the way she was acting seemed like there was more than fear going on past the surface.

“…if the time does come, then I might need to pry.”

* * * * *

She had to shake it off.

It was just a burning warehouse. It was just a harmless piece of land that was set on fire for God-knows-what reason.

There was honestly no reason to worry or panic.

So why was she jumping and cringing–?

She screamed when something fell from the roof, clattering a good five feet away from her. The reaction was instant; A jumped away and stumbled, landing on her back on the ground as panic and fear and worry took over. She wanted to throw up; her heart picked pace and she suddenly found it hard to breathe.

“A, what happened?” voices were blurry and her sight was decked in red and orange, dancing around her and smoke filling her lungs, “What happened to you, we heard screaming and something falling–”

She couldn’t concentrate on them.

All she could do was embrace her knees and bury her face into them; she was unable to repress the shaking her body gave out. From her side she heard a curse and someone dropping to her front, and she remembered that there was a burning object and she wanted to yell for them to run away from it they were going to burn and die –

Warm hands took hers and she nearly kicked the person in the face. Her hands felt slack and cold and sweaty in the others’ and the other person started talking, talking quietly. She couldn’t understand, couldn’t fathom who it was. Was it Peters, was it Hiro, who was it?

“Follow my voice. Squeeze my hand.”

When was the last time she was that shaky, she wondered, but something in her made him follow the man anyway. The numbness in her hands subsided slightly and she gave a squeeze, hearing a sigh of relief from the other person.

“Peters, assist the others. Tell them I’ve got A under control.”

“Are you sure? She doesn’t look good, maybe I should stay–”

“I’ve got this.” He squeezed her hands and she squeezed back, “I know what I’m doing. A?” he tapped her knee gently and she jerked as a reaction, “Follow my breathing, alright? I’ve got you. Breathe in with me, then out. In, then out. Can you do that for me?”

She managed a shaky nod and followed Touta, squeezing as she inhaled and relaxing her grip as she exhaled. Totua breathed with her, encouraging her quietly and keeping her calm as much as he could. “That’s it, A. Breathe with me. You’ve got this.”

Finally, she managed to lift her head. The image of Touta’s face greeted her, and he gave her a comforting smile before letting go of her hand to grab something from his pocket. Before she knew it, he was gently wiping the tears off her face. She darted her eyes away and held on tightly to his other hand. “Touta–”

“Shh. Keep breathing,” he instructed her. So she did. They stayed like that for the next ten minutes, with A on the ground and breathing while Touta kept an eye on her. By the time they were done, she noticed that the fire was already going out, doused by water and merely turning into nothing. “Better?”

“Car, please,” she said quietly. He nodded and helped her up, A using him as support as they walked back to the car. Once they were there, Peters jogged over with a bottle of water. Touta sent him a warning look and he quickly mellowed down his energy.

“Hey, I got you some water. Thought you needed it,” he offered. A nodded in thanks and took the water, opening it with trembling fingers and downing it in a rush. Peters’ eyes flicked to Touta’s, and the Japanese mouthed the word later. Getting the message, Peters gave A’s shoulder a comforting rub and ran off to assist the other police agents.

They stayed quiet for a moment; A squeezed the bottle around the middle and Touta stayed by her, watching in case there would be a follow up attack. When he was certain that none would come, he relaxed a little more. She noticed.

“How do you know how to handle it?”

“My older sister would have them,” he answered. Touta watched as the warehouse diminished until it was merely reduced to nothing, “I’d be the one to help her out since my parents worked and my eldest sister would be studying. She relied on me to help her get out of the attacks.”

A stayed quiet.

“You don’t have to tell me why burning areas send you into those attacks.” He put a hand on her shoulder and looked at her, “Not if you don’t want to. It’s not my business to pry.”

“I owe an explanation,” she insisted. Touta, however, shook his head.

“You don’t. HQ won’t ask until you’re okay with telling.” Peters ran back, wiping the sweat from his face. “Peters?”

“You and A are clear to leave early.” A made a face at that, “Higher ups found out what happened and want you to take the rest of the night off. Asked T here to drive you home just in case.”

“I can stay–”

“You need rest,” Touta told her firmly. A fell silent. “Both physical and mental. Peters, can you handle it from here?”

Peters gave a mock salute. “Of course I can. I’ll report to you when we’ve wrapped this up.” Touta nodded and began to make his way to the drivers’ seat while A begrudgingly faced the front and reached to close the door. “Night guys. Feel better soon, A.”

Touta bade his goodbyes and A still kept silent. The doors closed and Touta started up the car, engine roaring to life. He drove them away and A did her best not to look at what remained of the warehouse.

Ten minutes on the road, A cleared her throat. His brown eyes flicked to her, and he saw her looking straight ahead with her hands folded neatly on her lap.

“It was more than ten years ago.”

“Ten years?”

She nodded, keeping her gaze fixed on the road. “Back in England. More than ten years ago – fifteen years, maybe – a few days past November…”

A exhaled.

Touta listened.

“…my house burned down. I survived. My parents didn’t.”

“A–”

“I never thought I'd still be affected, honestly.” she laughed a bit, “You think it would go away and leave you alone for the rest of your life. Maybe make an appearance every few dreams.”

“But it didn't.”

“But it didn't,” she repeated. “It didn't.” A rueful smile on her lips, “And now you know.”