Assurance: A TFLC Short

 

Aether’s Apartment

Atlanta, GA

United States of America

February 2013

10:42 PM

Tadashi knocked on her door and waited. 

She had asked for Tadashi to come over that evening. It wasn’t unusual, no; Tadashi and Aether came over to the other’s apartments often. What worried him was how it was a bit late into the night. Around that time, Aether would either be catching up with schoolwork or would be doing some readings in advance. She assured him that he didn’t have to do much; all Aether wanted was a companion while she went through her notes, and while he had work to do in the morning, he was happy to keep her company. 

He heard a fumble from the back of the door and it opened to reveal Aether there, her hair up in a bun and glasses on her face. “You doing okay? You don’t usually ask me to come over this late,” he pointed out as he came inside. In response, the other sighed and closed the door, rubbing circles on her temples right after. “Aether?” 

“I just needed someone to be with. Sorry,” she apologized, heading straight to the living room with him following closely. “I’d go to a coffee shop and stay there, but I—I didn’t want that many people around, but I also didn’t want to be alone at the same time. Does that make sense?” Tadashi nodded and settled himself, watching as Aether looked a little frantic in gathering her reading materials. “Make yourself comfortable, I made extra coffee if you need it…”

“I’ll get some later. But relax,” he told her. Aether stopped to look at him, various papers and so in her hands. “You look like you’re in a rush…it’s only almost eleven.” 

She bit her lip. “I know. But…” She looked at the items in her hands and exhaled. “I—I’ll explain later, okay? I need to get these done first.” 



Tadashi wanted to urge her to put herself first, to spill everything first. Judging by her expression, however, it seemed more that she’d rather get the rest of the things out of the way. With that in mind, he merely nodded and Aether sighed in relief before positioning herself on the couch. She curled up and opened the thick book in her hands, starting to read where she had left off. 

He couldn’t help but watch her. Spending countless days studying with her made him more familiar with how she did her studies. If anything, Aether was a bit calm; she hummed while reading and mumbled to herself before scribbling something on the margins in pencil. That was the sight that he was used to seeing. It would change if she were more stressed or if finals week was approaching, but not by much. One of the few changes there would be was an abundance of coffee as well as an overwhelming pile of readings on the table. 

This time, however, she was different. Aether’s fingers trembled a little bit while she held onto the pencil; she stayed silent and made minimal notes, turning the pages with a little more force than she usually did. It was a little unnerving. Tadashi frowned before standing up and going to the kitchen to grab them both coffee; when he came back, Aether was hunched over the book and had her hands in her hair. 

He was about to call her attention when she suddenly exhaled, drawing away. She mumbled something too weak for him to catch and continued reading, gripping the pencil a bit tighter than she would usually do. 

Tadashi wanted to mind his business, he really did. The Korean tried to catch something on the television, attempted at reading a newspaper that she had managed to grab on the way home. Despite his efforts, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something wrong. He felt it in the living room, heard it in the way Aether’s mumbles turned into hasty mutters. At one point did the book fall—he heard it land on the floor with a thump and Aether cursed loudly, almost throwing her pencil down and retrieving the thick, paperback object with more curses. 

If he had to guess, she seemed more agitated, frustrated. Tadashi kept his eye on her throughout the hour, wanting to speak but instead keeping quiet. Every so often, he’d ask if she were okay. In response, she’d give a clipped “I’m fine” and he’d ignore it until offering to refill her coffee or get her some other drink. Three times out of four did she agree, while the other one time ended with Tadashi being ignored as she was heavily immersed in the reading. 

It was almost midnight when Aether groaned loudly and slammed the textbook shut. He neatly jumped at the sound; turning to her, Tadashi saw her rub her head and bury her face into her hands next. It alarmed him. He stood, moved towards the couch instead of paying attention to the news. There was a faint snuffling sound; his eyes softened when he saw that her shoulders were shaking just a bit. 

“Aether…” Tadashi sat beside her, gently pulled an arm around her shoulder in an attempt to pull her closer to him. “Hey, Aether…what’s wrong?” She mumbled something under her breath and he blinked, asking her to repeat right after. “Come on, don’t keep silent on me.”

“I’m just frustrated,” she mumbled thickly. “Really fucking frustrated, Tad, you have no idea…” She resurfaced slowly, unable to look at him as she went on. “It’s—it feels and sounds stupid, but hear me out…”

And she told him. She told him about her doubts, about her fears and the small anxieties that had bothered her for a while. She ended up stopping at one point, having to take in a large breath. Tadashi saw her hands start to tremble, shake, and he took them into his hands; their eyes met when he rubbed circles over the back of her palms. 

At the action, she visibly calmed. Aether closed her eyes, took another breath, and continued talking. “I’m questioning whether I’m really meant to be here,” she admitted. “I don’t know why I’m here, if it was a mistake, if I’m meant to go back home and stay there instead of—instead of being here.” She closed her eyes, “Why am I here, Tad? Why was I sent here in the first place? I wasn’t—I’m not fit for HQ, I’m not fit for life over here. I should just go back home.” Aether started to draw away, tugged her hands from his grip, but Tadashi merely held on. 

“Aether.” She opened her eyes to look at him, expected to see some kind of disappointment in his eyes at her words. And she couldn’t blame him, really; she’d understand why he’d be disappointed. “You shouldn’t doubt yourself too much.” 

“But—”

“But nothing,” he told her firmly. Aether bit her lip, refused to look him in the eye. With this, he squeezed her hands more before letting go and setting his on her shoulders. “Listen to me,” he started in a quieter, gentler voice. “You were sent to Atlanta for a reason. All of this is happening for a reason. Believe me, okay?”

“But what if I’m not meant to be here, Tad?” Her voice went a little shaky, “What if I’m not suited for this at all?”

“You are.” Before Aether could do so much as protest, he shook his head and wrapped her in a warm embrace. He heard her breath stutter but ignored it, hugging her tighter and rubbing her back gently, comfortingly. “Believe me. But even more, believe in yourself. You’re capable of so, so much.” 

She didn’t talk much after that. He was about to ask her if she was okay, if she needed something, but Aether—

Aether broke, embracing him as tightly as she could and sobbing into his shoulder. “You’ll be okay,” he murmured, continuing to rub her back. “I promise. You’re destined for great things. Please believe me.” 

She didn’t say anything, only crying harder if that were possible. The two of them kept at that position, hugging each other and Aether with her face in his shoulder. Tadashi hummed something under his breath. It was a familiar song that she liked, something he heard her hum along to every so often. 

And it took a while, but her crying eventually subsided. Aether took shaky breaths and eventually drew away from the hug, eyes red and swollen with her tears a little blotchy. “T-Thank you,” she started, but he only shook his head and ruffled her hair before standing up and collecting the mugs on the coffee table. 

“I’ll put these in the sink and help you pack up. You need to rest.” She nodded at that, wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and promptly started to collect her notes. Tadashi came back eventually and sorted out the cushions on the couch before fixing the books, leaving them on the table. “Get some rest, alright?”

“I will.” She hesitated; Aether looked at him and Tadashi gave a small smile. “I—and thank you for staying here. With me. It means a lot.” 

“You can rely on me for anything,” he told her simply. He turned to leave, “I’ll lock the door on my way out. Sleep soon.”

“Okay…good night, Tad.”

“Good night, Aether.”