Supernova

Arzen shook, covering her face with her hands. Mathias sat beside her, not quite sure what to do. After battling off another Setomion, it seemed like Arzen had just broke down completely. At first, thoughts of Eri came to mind, but he then ignored it and assumed she was alright.

Hesitantly, he patted her shoulder out of sympathy, and the gesture seemed to calm her down just a bit. But minutes passed and Arzen wasn't talking, only taking in deep, shuddery breaths as she wiped her eyes with a tissue he had gotten from her bathroom.

“Mathias?”

Her voice was rough, stressed from crying.

“Yes?”

“Can you get me my water bottle from my desk?” he nodded and stood up, spotting a deep purple water bottle and grabbing it, giving it back soon after. She took it from him and took a long drink, and Mathias saw the redness in her eyes. He couldn’t help but glance away.

He soon heard the soft click of the water bottle, and she sighed.

“Fifth one,” she said softly.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“Fifth one indeed.”

“I’m sorry.”

And that made him frown.

“Sorry? What for?”

“Summoning all those damn Setomions.” She closed her eyes. “Doubt, Self-Pity, Loneliness, Anxiety, and now Insecurity. I swear to God, a whole family of Setomions would come after me if I kept on being like this.”

“Hey, hey – I only fought off two of those things. That’s just forty percent,” he joked, but stopped at the look on her face. “But really, Arzen…you shouldn’t beat yourself up over things like this. Remember: Eri sent me here to protect you. Okay?”

She didn’t look so convinced.

“I just want to fight them off myself.”

And he heard.

“You can’t-”

“I don’t mean the Setomions.”

“…then what, exactly?”

“I just want to fight them off me.” She looked at him. “All those feelings.”

He fell silent.

“The last time I felt like this was during Freshman year. Insecure and totally lost. I remember wanting to give up. Well…and now, here I am again. Feeling the same way as two years ago.” Arzen laughed bitterly. “It’s a miracle that a Setomion didn’t take me to Technika or wherever. It could have dumped me in the middle of nowhere, and I’d be happy.”

“I’d look for you.”

She looked at him.

“We'd look for you. Eri, Cissa, Lisa, me…Elaine and the others, too.” He offered a smile. “I’d rip apart the heavens just to save you, Monika Arzen. And so would other people.”

Arzen didn’t know how to answer that.

“Think of it this way: you can see millions of stars in the sky.” He nodded at the window by her bed, “One star dies, and when it does, you wouldn’t notice at first because of all the other brilliant stars out there, shining endlessly. But when you study that star, you learn about it. And you find out how it dies – perfectly.” he glanced at her. “It explodes. A supernova, they call it. One of the most beautiful sights. And after that supernova, a black hole basically sucks everything up.”

“…so you’re comparing me to a dying star,” she questioned.

“Not necessarily. Basically, you may think that you’re worth nothing, but even from afar, you’re fantastic. And when you do things, they cause a massive effect on others.” Mathias took her hand. “Darling, you’re a supernova. And if you go, you’ll cause a black hole so intense we won’t be able to recover.”

A supernova.

“…do you really think that?”

He nodded.

“I do. Now, sleep.” He gave her a light push. “You need to get some rest.”

She frowned at him, “And you’re going to watch me?”

“No.” he laughed, “I’m not that creepy. You’re going to fall asleep, and I’m going to watch around for a few minutes. And then I’ll get back to Eri.”

“Alright.” She climbed into bed (rather awkwardly) and switched off the lights, leaving the lamp on. He was busy writing something on a green notepad. “…what are you doing?”

“Reminder to myself,” he replied easily. “Close your eyes and get some sleep, Arzen.”

And she did.

She could hear the faintest chuckle, and later, she had drifted off.

Mathias made sure she was asleep before leaving the green note on the table.

He pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch and eventually faded away.

On her study table, the note read:

You’re a supernova.
Don’t let anyone say or make you feel otherwise.

PS: You don’t need to fight them off.
That’s what I’m here for.

-         M