Three Hearts Gone

Doomsday

“After pulling it, hold on to the bar and don’t let go – you hear me, Arianne?” she nodded grimly and they both walked to the levers, one on the right side and the other on the left. “Once we pull it, it should open up the breach and pull them in – both the Daleks and the Cybermen. So,” he paused, glancing at her. “Are you ready?” a pained smile came to her face as well as a nod, and he counted: “One. Two. THREE!”

Pulls occurred at the exact same moment, and they raced to the magnetic clamps on the walls. Quickly holding on, she shut her eyes as the breach opened, and immediately what they had planned happened. As it opened, it sucked everything into it, from Dalek to Cyberman to the desk in the front and the water bottle left on the floor. The Doctor grinned with glee as everything was sucked in.

Opening her eyes, Arianne felt victorious.

That is, until her eyes spotted the lever threatening to return to its original position. Her mind did the math. If that thing went back to original position, the breach would close and the aliens would close upon them. Their mission would fail and it would mean an end to her and to her the Doctor by her side. His promise loomed in her mind, that everyone would live. Everybody would be saved.

She had never forgotten.

She let go of the bar and caught the lever, pushing it back.

At that, the Doctor yelled.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“I had to push it back!” she screamed back at him. “The thing could have returned to its place and the whole thing would have failed!”

“Why would you do that!?”

“To keep your promise!”

A desolate feeling was etched into his gaze.

“You must hold on, no matter what – do you understand?”

She nodded, just like at the beginning. But he could see her eyes, usually filled with teasing, up to the brim with fear. She bit her lip to hold back a scream and he could see her hold on tighter to the lever, holding tighter and tighter and unwilling to let go.

Finally, the last Dalek flew into the breach and he smiled. But that smile quickly vanished as her hand slipped. “Don’t let go, damn it, don’t let go!”

“I’m trying, you stupid fucking ginger – I’m trying!”

It pulled stronger and stronger, aiming to drag her in.

Eyes widening with horror, he stretched out his hand to her. So close, so close.

“Take my hand,” he begged.

For once, he didn’t care if he himself perished.

He just wanted her safe.

She reached out, other hand  clinging to the lever.

Their hands went closer and closer and closer.

She gave him a look of desperation, forgetting every name, every curse she called him. She just wanted to grab his hand and be safe. Every memory of them in danger went away, and she struggled, wanting to touch his hand, wanting to be safe with him. Even if it meant losing her family elsewhere, she just wanted her and the Doctor safe. Safe from harm and danger and from the Daleks and the Cybermen.

But a part of her knew that couldn’t happened.

Her hand slipped. A scream ripped from her mouth, calling the Doctor. She could feel the tears slipping down her face and she could hear his scream, his scream for her. Looking at him, she could only see the anguish in his eyes as she moved closer and closer to the Void. She tried screaming again, but it felt like her voice died in her throat and all she could do was watch him as he watched her slip from his fingers.

Pain.

Unbearable pain.

Pain that he couldn’t save her.

Pain that she had to go.

Pain that she would never have another adventure with him.

Pain that he would never know.

Each truth was a stab to the chest with a sharp shard of glass. Each scream of his was a torment to her ears and caused a burn in her chest. Her tears blinded her and she attempted to scream his name one more, just one last time before she disappeared from his sighed.

“DOCTOR!”

From the Doctor’s gaze, seeing her fly away from him caused a tear in his two hearts, something he had felt so many times before and never wanted to feel again. She had screamed his name once, twice, and he didn’t want to hear it anymore. But those screams rang on.

Echoing.

Never forgotten.

A flash of light came, and to his disbelief, a man caught her. He could see her look back at him with shock, and the light came back. They disappeared, not vanishing into the Void, but deep inside, he knew she was saved. For a price.

The Void eventually closed up and he steadied himself on the ground. The Doctor was everything he was at that moment, a man born in flame and rage and hate and ice and terror –

He was numb.

* * * * *

“TAKE ME BACK! GODDAMN IT, TAKE ME BACK!” she shrieked at the man, punching his chest with tears streaming down her face. Samuel could only look at her in sadness, shaking his head. A frustrated Arianne grabbed the teleportation device from him and pushed the button on the center repeatedly, refusing to believe that she couldn’t be taken back to where he was, to where she belonged. “Why won’t it work?” she whispered, throwing it onto the floor.

The people behind her looked on with sad expressions. Samuel sighed and watched her. Jean looked at him for confirmation.

“He did it. The breach was sealed.”

More anger came from her. She punched the wall, screaming and crying, demanding to be taken back to him. Samuel attempted to reach out to her, but the blue-eyed woman right next to him sent him a frosty glare. She had to absorb it. She had to accept it.

She had to know.

“Take me back…”

She leaned her forehead against the cold wall and her sobs turned fainter, more quiet. The agents behind could only watch her. As she shut her eyes, the green-eyed woman thought she could hear something, something from the other side. A few steps walking to where she was, perhaps? Wiping her eyes, the woman pressed her ear against the wall, trying to listen.

“D-Doctor…?”

No response from the other side.

A shaky sigh came from her.

“Doctor, if you can hear me…” she paused and when she spoke, her voice broke at the last word. “I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry….” The woman inhaled sharply. “Forgive me.”