The First Step: A Coalesce Short

Headquarters
Tokyo, JPN
November 2009

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Look, I know it’s something too soon–”

“Damn right that shit’s too soon,” Tadashi snapped. He chose to ignore the fact that almost everyone on the floor was staring. “I lost three of my squad mates barely six months ago and now you want me to take in two new ones in the next three months? Do you honestly think I’m in the right condition to do that?”

“I know it’s something you’re not comfortable with,” Eri Nagakawa interrupted calmly. She gave Tadashi a firm look, “To be perfectly honest, Tadashi, I was against this as well. The board, however, thinks that you need to start taking in people again. They’ve noticed that your quality has dipped a bit ever since the accident.”

“I’m grieving.”

“I know you are,” she repeated. “Just – will you come to my office and talk to me about this?” He was nearly about to argue again when she gave him a look. “Don’t do this to yourself,” she added in a much softer voice. “Just hear me out. And try not to make a scene in front of the younger agents.”

Without another word, Tadashi went straight to Eri’s office. The other hung back to watch him with worried eyes and then realized that she too was being watched. Masking a cold look on her face, she barked at the rest of them to get back to work and they all scattered while talking nervously. She rubbed her temples, exhaling loudly.

It was never a good idea to begin with.

“Tadashi Sato,” she had explained to the higher ups an hour prior, “is not ready for another set of squad mates. You know what happened to him six months ago. He lost two in a mission gone awry, one died at the incident itself and the other was comatose until he was removed from life support – and the other who came out alive quit right after. He lost everyone. And you think that he’s ready to move on?”

“The entire board would like to think so,” one of them agreed. Eri could barely remember names at this point and chose to call him Red (because of the red tie he was wearing). Red narrowed his eyes and looked down at Tadashi’s file, “it was a tragic incident, but we must move on. We have. So should he.”

“You don’t understand the circumstances, she argued. Those three people were the first he had gotten really close to. And now…”

She trailed off, running a hand through her hair. “Nothing more. I’m just concerned for Tadashi’s wellbeing.”

“We are concerned for his wellbeing and his performance,” Blue retorted. Eri tried not to roll her eyes. “Mr. Sato took a two-week break after the dissolution of his old squad, which we rightfully gave. Ever since he came back, the quality of his work hasn’t been top notch. Mr. Sato has been going on solo-missions, and has been avoiding particular ones.”

“Can you blame him?”

“We can’t,” Red cut in. “But for the betterment of his job, the organization, and the safety of the people, he has to take on these new people. No complaints or excuses.”

Tadashi looked upset.

That was an understatement.

“I tried to defend you,” Eri said as she entered her office. Tadashi was sitting on the chair across her desk. “I honestly did my best to defend you. But they were stubborn. The Board wanted you to…accept these new people, thinking that it would be the best for you.”

“They don’t know shit,” Tadashi said shortly. “Nothing at all.”

“I know,” she repeated gently. “But…for the sake of all of this, can you at least hear me out? At least what they’ve planned?”

Tadashi didn’t respond, nor did he give any kind of negative reaction. Eri gave him a weary glance and chose to continue.

“This is what they want you to do: two new and accepted applicants are coming starting next year, both of them from the other side of the world. One of them is going to come in the middle of the year. They’ll be studying here first, however, while the other one will go straight to training.”

“…what does this have to do with me?”

Eri hesitated a little. Tadashi noticed.

“Eri. What the hell is it?”

“The one for training will be under you. The other one…” Eri gave him a half-pitiful and half-hopeful smile. “The other one will have to live in the same apartment complex with you so that you can constantly check up on them. When they graduate, they’ll immediately be taken into training. After their training, both of them will be under you at the same time, rendering you as their–”

“Squad Head,” Tadashi replied dryly. “Team Lead.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m flattered, honestly. But does it have to be this way?”

“It seems to be the only way…look – I know you want to take your time and make sure you’re at hundred-percent success rate when you get back. Perhaps, though, this just seems to be the right path to take for now.”

“Pairing me up with two people I’ve never met,” he replied dubiously, “One of which I have to constantly check on.”

“Right.”

“…do you realize what you’re asking me to do, Eri? You’re asking me to hasten up my recovery process.”

Eri didn’t know what to say to that.

“It’s all the same. People around me kept telling me to keep their memory alive. I’ve been trying to do that. But trying to make me accept new ones while I’m still like – like this?” It became silent much after. At that point, Eri was trying her best not to look at Tadashi in fear of what he would end up doing or saying next. “I appreciate the sympathy, Eri. Thank you for that.”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

“You’re right. But I don’t feel that it would be the best choice.” Tadashi stood up suddenly, causing Eri to look up at him in surprise. “I’ve already partaken in ending two lives and causing on to quit from here. Those two new ones shouldn’t end up quitting many years later, dying on the spot, or having to be unplugged from life support.”

Eri’s look turned from surprised to cold. The change had been so fast that Tadashi himself hadn’t been expecting it.

“You didn’t cause their deaths or her leave,” Eri told him. She looked him straight in the eye, “And neither will you do the same to those two.”

“You don’t know anything–”

“You’re forgetting,” she interrupted, “That you’re talking to the person who has helped you since you got here a long number of years ago. I know you, Tadashi. So, no. I do know something. And I know that you’re not going to inflict any kind of damage on those new recruits.”

“…how are you so sure?”

“You fixed those three. You fixed them well.” Eri moved behind her desk and faced the tall, glass windows. “I watched you. You never let them get in harm's way.” Without a single beat, she ordered him, “Go. The Board wants to speak to you.”