Winchester, England
United Kingdom
July 2010
So you felt something, Lysette thinks. She scans over the letter once, twice before rereading it all, trying to understand the words even though she already does. You…felt something for me but never got to say it out loud. And you’ve felt it for what, two or three years? And you never made a move, not once…
Two weeks after Aether left for the United States, Lysette discovered a neatly-folded letter in the middle of one of the cabinets she used to store her old sketchbooks. She had opened the cabinet once again to look for one of the more recent ones; she had planned to use a sketch she had done months ago as some kind of reference point. But when she pulled it out, she noticed that there was a peculiar paper pressed in between the pages; initially she thought that it was one of her old sketches, but her name written in familiar script caught her attention.
For Lysette.
That was how she ended up in her current position: seated on the wooden floor with her hair tied up, the letter in her hands. It ran for two, nearly three pages—some words and some phrases were crossed out. It almost made her smile. Aether, after all, was never the wordiest person even when it came to paper.
After the first read, she had to read again and yet another time. The words remained the same as did the entire letter. The same words were crossed out, Lysette detected traces of Aether’s frustration (most likely at herself) at some areas. The letter’s purpose was clear, definitely—but she couldn’t wrap her head around it. Not at all.
The overall gist of it was that Aether had harbored feelings for Lysette for a number of years. She admitted it clearly, explained that she never really felt like telling in fear of ruining the friendship they had. I didn’t know what to do, she wrote. I know you wouldn’t hate me for it, but…I didn’t want to risk anything. And besides, she wrote as an afterthought, I was already happy with what we were, Lys. I didn’t want to ruin it.
“But you wouldn’t,” she muttered while reading. What followed that part were many others; she talked about moving to America, talked about promising to keep in touch. Admitted that she was afraid of starting anew, afraid of having to adjust. Eventually the letter ended with: I know there’s a lot going through your head right now. And I know that it’s a lot to take in. And that you want to shoot me an email right now. That made Lysette smile, but I promise that I’ll talk to you about it at the right time. Please understand, Lys.
Aether didn’t write much more after that, but the message as clear, and she knew it. She didn’t want Lysette to bring it up immediately because at that point in time, Aether would be doing her best to move on from her feelings. And Lysette wasn’t sure about love and crushes and everything—but hell, she had to assume that a two to three-year-long crush wasn’t going to go away easily.
She set the topic aside. She didn’t bring it up when she emailed Aether, didn’t mention anything about a letter or Aether’s crush on her.
Time passed eventually and the two still didn’t acknowledge it. Lysette was working for META and Aether for HQ, and it never really ended up being discussed at all.
At least, not until 2017 came along.
Atlanta, GA
United States of America
July 2017
“And you come here often with the rest of your squad?” Aether nodded and Lysette managed a quiet “damn” before sitting down on the seat across her. “I like it here—it’s quiet, it’s calm, and based on what you’ve told me, they have nice tea.” A playful smirk, “You’re treating me, right?”
“You’re unbelievable,” Aether sighed, but she took out her wallet anyway. “Something sweet with a pastry on the side?”
“You know it.” When the other left, the smile faded just a bit.
They were there so that Lysette could get her initial interview responses, but she already knew that they’d just spend the afternoon catching up with one another. With that, though, something else poked at her mind. She had seen Aether’s boyfriend much earlier before they stayed in her office, the one with red hair and flowers, so maybe it was okay to bring it up, right?
At least she hoped it was. Lysette sighed. The last thing she wanted was for the reunion to be soured just because of some awkward conversation that she wasn’t supposed to bring up. For all she knew, maybe Aether didn’t want to bring it up ever again and was just too nice to say.
(That was how Aether was, she knew. She didn’t like to be any kind of bother to anyone else, didn’t like to make anyone unhappy—so she had a tendency to keep things to herself instead of speaking her mind.)
“Hey—are you okay?” Lysette glanced up; the other was there with their food and drink, and she was eyeing Lysette with a curious look on her face. “You looked like you were thinking really hard there.”
“It’s just something. Thanks, by the way—how much do I owe you?”
“You don’t.” Aether sat across her with a smile, “I’m treating you, remember? And don’t say anything like paying back with dinner or whatever.” She laughed and the two proceeded to catch up with one another, Aether talking about work and eventually Mathieu (who Lysette teased her about endlessly), and Lysette talked about the magazine, talked about the orphanage and how Aether had to go back one day.
It eventually came to a point where both of them sat there in silence; Aether glancing at her phone and Lysette’s eyes looking from one spot to another. It wasn’t until the other cleared her throat did she look at Aether, who was regarding her with a mildly sheepish expression on her face. “You wanted to talk about something,” the other pointed out slowly. “Something’s been on your mind, Lys.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“You’re still an open book.” She chuckled at that, set her tea cup down before nodding, admitting. “What was it? We have time.”
“Orphanage, right?”
“What about it?”
“I—I had cabinets there where I tended to keep my art materials. I remember that you had to give me yours just so that I could store all my stuff in there.” Aether nodded, “Two weeks after you left, I…I was looking for a sketchpad in there for reference, when I saw that there was a letter sticking out from one of the pages.”
She expected Aether to blush, to cut the conversation short. But the other had a funny smile on her face and nodded, as if asking her to go on.
She did. “I read it, and…well.” Lysette laughed awkwardly, rubbed the back of her neck. Aether kept watching. “…you had feelings for me, huh?”
“I did.” Aether glanced into her own coffee cup, appearing thoughtful for a moment. “I realized that I had a crush on you when I was fifteen. Naturally, it freaked me out a little bit because that was the first time I ever felt anything like that for anyone. And to make me more confused, it—it wasn’t a crush on a boy.” Aether shrugged, “I figured it out eventually, got in touch with my feelings, and…yeah. I did have a crush on you back then.”
“And you didn’t tell me before you left?” More curious, less accusatory.
“I couldn’t.” Aether sighed. “I didn’t want to. You read the letter, Lys, I…I was scared. I was afraid that admitting it would ruin what we had, and I didn’t really want to risk any of it.”
“You know I wouldn’t judge.”
“I know. But…I was afraid, I guess.” She pushed away her coffee cup, “You mean a lot to me. You still do. And I didn’t really know how to confront those kinds of feelings then, so…I thought that hiding them away would be for the best.” Aether looked a little sad at that point; there was a faraway look in her eyes that Lysette knew meant she was thinking about it a lot.
So she reached out, took the other’s hand. Aether look at her, and Lysette gave a hint of a smile back. “Regardless, you know, I think we’d still be friends. No matter what would happen.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Definitely sure about that.” A gentle squeeze, “You’re my best friend, Aether. Come on. I wouldn’t let your feelings for me destroy our friendship. I thought you knew me better than that?” That was enough for the other to smile back hesitantly, nodding and squeezing her hand as well.
“I do. Just—you know me. Doubts a lot from time to time.”
“You shouldn’t, okay?” Aether nodded again, and a bigger smile broke across Lysette’s face. “Now how about another round of tea and cookies? And this time,” she interrupted before the other could respond, “my treat.”
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